Why Making Friends Gets Harder as We Get Older
When we’re children, friendships often just happen.
We go to school every day and see the same people, whether we planned to or not. We sit beside them, play together, share experiences and spend hundreds of hours in each other’s company. Nobody needs to check their calendar or send a message asking, “Are you free three weeks on Saturday?” The structure is already there.
Spend enough time with people and, somewhere along the way, friendships form.
Adulthood is very different.
We have jobs, families, responsibilities and increasingly busy lives. Seeing friends suddenly requires effort. We need to communicate, organise, sync calendars and deliberately make time for each other. Even when we have good friends, weeks or months can pass without seeing them.
And if you don’t already have those connections, making new ones as an adult can be even harder.
This is something I see regularly through Boundless Trails. People come to us for different reasons, but loneliness and social isolation come up surprisingly often. Sometimes what someone is looking for isn’t simply a mountain bike ride. They’re looking for somewhere they belong and people they can connect with.
That’s where I think sport and community activities can be incredibly powerful.
A regular activity recreates some of the structure we had when we were younger. You don’t necessarily have to arrange to meet each individual person. You know that on Monday morning, Friday evening or whenever the group meets, people will be there.
And importantly, you don’t have to force conversation or friendship. You already have something in common.
You ride together. You struggle up the same climbs. You laugh when someone takes the wrong line. You stop for a chat. You grab a coffee afterwards. You come back the following week.
Over time, familiarity becomes connection, and sometimes connection becomes friendship.
Research consistently links strong social relationships with better wellbeing and happiness. But telling someone who feels lonely to simply “get out and meet people” misses how difficult that can actually be. We need places and opportunities where connection can happen naturally.
That’s one of the reasons our Boundless Trails Community Rides are free to attend. There’s no membership fee and no expectation that you need to be an amazing rider. They simply provide a regular opportunity to get outside, ride bikes and spend time with other people.
Mountain biking might be what brings us together.
But sometimes the most important part of the ride is simply having somewhere to belong.
If you’d like to meet new people, get outside and become part of a friendly riding community, why not join one of our free Community Rides? There’s no pressure and no commitment - just bikes, good company and an opportunity to connect.
